


Heavenly Answers

by Morgana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 20:22:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When there's an angel in your head, you can't really hold onto your secrets. And angels generally don't understand needing to keep some things hidden...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heavenly Answers

“Sam lied to you, you know.”  
  
The calm words from the angel in the passenger seat didn’t shock him. Dean had been wondering how long it would take Zeke to start trying to drive a wedge between him and his brother. It seemed to be what the angels did, their raison d’etre, as it were. “Yeah? Tell me something I don’t know.”  
  
“You do not wish to know what he lied about?”  
  
Dean was tempted to tell him that no, he really didn’t give a fuck about lies Sam had told, not as long as he still had Sam  _there_ , but he knew that Zeke wasn’t likely to understand that, so he shrugged and said, “Go ahead, knock yourself out.” When only a puzzled silence answered him, he sighed and clarified, “You can tell me if you want to.”  
  
“He lied to you about Heaven.”  
  
All right, so that was a bit of a surprise. “Why the hell would he have lied about that?”  
  
“Because he did not wish you to see what his Heaven was truly like. He figured out that he could change the surroundings, so he manipulated it to show what he thought was acceptable.”  
  
Okay, that sounded like Sam. A lot like that overgrown, big-brained idiot. Dean waited for Zeke to continue, but when he didn’t say anything, he prompted, “Well?”  
  
“Well, what? You wish to know other lies he told? You know about Ruby, but there was the six months after the time loop -”  
  
“No, you featherbrain! What was his Heaven like?!?” Although they’d be revisiting that comment about the time loop later.  
  
Zeke gave him one of those strange angel looks, like he was analyzing him for some kind of scientific paper. “It was you.”  
  
Dean jerked the car over to the side of the road, slammed on the brakes and threw it in park. “Look here, I saw Sam’s Heaven. It was dinners at someone else’s house and leaving us and getting away from me and Dad and hunting so he could have his fucking normal life. And now you wanna tell me it was really all about me?”  
  
The angel just stared at him, the same even look Cas gave him when he thought he was being particularly stupid. “Yes, it was.”  
  
“Fine. Tell me about it, then.”  
  
Zeke tilted his head, and Dean had the sense that he was having a conversation with Sam inside his head. Finally, he said, “You woke in the car in the field, but Sam woke in the hotel room on Christmas when he gave you the amulet.”  
  
Oh, God. Just the mention of the amulet was like a punch in the gut. That had been part of Sam’s Heaven?!? But why hadn’t he told him? Why hide it? He opened his mouth to ask, but then Zeke said, “He left to look for you and ended up on the porch of the house in Augusta.”  
  
Shit. The one place Dean had really hoped they wouldn’t have to see. He remembered Augusta like it was yesterday, the hot, humid, dusty summer they’d spent in a rickety little cabin while he worked at a garage to bring in extra money to help feed his fifteen-year-old brother, who wouldn’t stop growing and was always hungry. He remembered, too, the night he’d let Sam share a couple beers with him after dinner while they sat on the porch, remembered the dry brush of Sam’s lips against his and the thud his body had made when he’d hit the floor after Dean shoved him off his lap. Worst of all, he remembered the look in Sam’s eyes before he got up and the sick twist of his stomach as he’d fought not to pull him up and show him how to really kiss.  
  
And that had been part of his Heaven. That rejection, the push away when he’d reached for him. And then when Dean remembered what he’d done when they got back...  
  
Dean drew in a shaky breath, hearing again the hollow clang of the amulet as it hit the trashcan. He’d believed Sam didn’t care, that he’d still wanted that fucking normal life, and he’d let it get to him. So when Cas had given him the amulet back, when he’d looked down at it and thought about Sam’s Heaven, he’d wanted to hurt him. Like Cas, he’d lost his faith, but he’d never believed in God, not really. Dean had always believed in Sam, and when he’d lost that, he’d wanted to hurt him, and the amulet had seemed like the best way to do it.  
  
He blinked away the tears that threatened, then looked at Zeke. “So, you guys know how to find stuff, right?”


End file.
